Maybe it is because I live in St George that I feel the way I do. We have a very limited choice in men here. I think it could almost be as extreme as 3 boys to 1 girl. Whenever I meet someone, They are too young. They are not looking for a relationship. They have children. They are engaged. Or they have a girlfriend. I seriously do not know why I bother even searching and going out sometimes.
I have always been a hermit. And I like it that way. Life is simple when I can read a book. Stay home in my trackies. Instead of going out. Getting hit on my fat, Balding men. Or by "Bogans" I feel comfortable at home. I feel comfortable not having to prove myself. I think that I am weird. And awkward. And stupid. An idiot. Uncontrollable. Loud. Not like the rest. And I think that if someone gets to close to me they are going to get scared. Or freaked out because I am "Odd" I prefer to stay home. Maybe from now on that it what I will do. It's easier that way. Things will happen eventually. I am not putting myself out there anymore.