Christmas Spirit.

So it's that time again. Everyone is wiping the dust of the Christmas decorations box that they have had stowed away all year. And are starting to decorate.

I remember when I was a child decorating the tree and putting the lights up was one of the highlights about Christmas. It was a magical time when Santa came to visit. He had a reindeer with a nose that glowed. He brought us gifts. And the family together.

As I was a child I had my favorite decoration. It was a gold wind chime looking thing that had diamonds down the bottom of it that used to hang down. I always used to place it by a blue Christmas light. So when the lights on the tree were turned on it would send blue rainbows all over the roof and floor. I was amazed at it's beauty. I can't remember how many times I fell asleep on the couch starting at the beautiful blue diamond.

We had many traditions as a child when Santa came. Every night in the week leading up to Christmas my father would play a Christmas carol CD. I swear I know all of those songs off the top of my head. Dad used to play that until we fell asleep too. I also had Christmas lights in my room. I used to turn them on and stare at them until I grew to tired to keep my eyes open. I used to wear tinsel in my hair. And glitter on my face. I used to hand out Candy Cains and Christmas cards.

I used to believe in Santa and the spirit of Christmas.

But now that I am older and I look at Christmas. I see angry and tired parents carting around screaming children. I see people spending money on people they don't even like. I see people stressed out trying to buy practically everyone they know a present. And sending them a card. I see putting the lights and Christmas tree up a burden. And lets not mention the preparation of the Christmas day feast. I see people cringe at the thought of having to wrap presents up then on Christmas day having the paper scattered across the house. Then they cringe again as they realise that they have to clean it up. People put up Christmas lights now only to enter competitions. What happened to putting them up because they add to the mystery of Santa Clause?

Christmas is no longer about the simple things. People don't think about the wonderful day they are going to have with there family. They don't care about the few healthy drinks they are going to have and the reminiscing of the past and the stupid things they have done with friends. They don't pray when they sit down for the Christmas lunch. Or sit and relax. Everything is tense. Everything has to be prefect. You have to be prefect. The presents you brought for people you don't like have to be perfect. God save you if your judged on the gift you brought. Your Family has to be on perfect behavior for the relatives you have staying with you or the relatives your going to go and see.

Everything has to be spot on or the day is ruined. I find this sad. I want to bring back the Christmases I used to have as a child. I want to put lights up in my room. Watch my blue glowing Diamond. Drive around town and watch Christmas lights not just for the competition but because it's Christmas!!

Christmas has lost it's spinelessness. I miss it. So this year. I am going to single handedly bring it back. Because in my reality - Santa is still real.

A bit of this. And a bit of that.

Like my title suggests - A little bit of this. And a little bit of that.

Generations past..

I was going to start this post with 'Remember when' but it didn't seem fitting. So instead this post is starting with -

'I wonder' ... I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in a society that still has values and moral standards.

I wonder what it would have been like to grow up amongst real men. You know the ones that don't straighten there hair. Wear eye liner. The ones that don't parade around in skinny black jeans. Listen to Justin Beiber and don't sleep with as many 'Chicks' as possible. Don't scratch your head. Can you really not remember real men? Sad isn't it. I am beginning to feel the same way.

I will remind you.

Real men are ones that aren't afraid to get dirt under there nails or roll around in the mud. The ones that are devoted to one partner. That work hard for there money and don't expect Mummy and Daddy to empty there wallets for there convince. The men that drive ute's around with a thousand dents in them and a few spots of healthy rust. None of those skyline, suped up, turbo pussy cars. Just to put it out there you don't impress me when you drive past me in your pussy car and rev the engine a few times. I think your a douche.

I wonder what it would have been like to grow up in a society that had manners and respect. I cannot remember the last time a man opened a door for me. Or took a carton from me that was too heavy. Or even nodded there head in acknowledgement as I walked past. Some old men still open doors for me. Take heavy freight. And nod there head. But they are old. It has been drilled into them from an early age. What happened to the younger generation? They need to start stepping up.

I wonder what it would have been like to walk down the street and see men less fashionable then me. Most of the men I see prancing down the street, walk like they are at a fashion show and have better clothes then I do. Have better hair. Have better moisturizers. Deodorants. And shoes then I do... AGAIN!! What happened?

I wonder what it would have been like to be asked for my number instead of "Do you have Facebook?" I would much better prefer talking to someone on the phone then over Facebook. It's too impersonal and you can't get to know someone properly over Facebook.

I say bring back the real man. The one from generations past. Who knew how to treat a girl on a date and show them a good time. Instead of the one who is more afraid of breaking a highly manicured nail and getting dirty then have a good adventure.

Too all men of this generation. It's time to stop chocking on hair spray. Go outside. Take a deep breath ofresh air. Wipe the make up off. Peel off the skinny jeans. Resuscitate your balls. Stop dressing like a drag queen on crack. And-

BE A REAL MAN!!!!!!

Conclusions.

I have come to very many different conclusions this week. They hit me at random times. While I am doing random things. I do not even look for a conclusion or a thought. They just come to me. Maybe when you don't think about your problems. Or troubles. The answers come to you easier.

Some of the conclusions that have come to me this week are -

~ You can't change people. They must learn to change them selves. Or want to.

~ It is easy to be blinded by tiny obstacles in your way. Instead of standing back and looking at the whole picture. People only think of the here and now. Which isn't always a good. Or the best thing.

~ Some people don't know when to give up. They keep on pushing and pushing. Until one day the people they are pushing are going to explode.

~ There are always going to be bullies in life. In and out of school. In the work place. Within your family. And even within your group of friends.

~ You can't always get what you want. So there is no point in wishing you had it.

~ If it's not meant to be. It's not meant to be. Drop it. Move on. Forget. And continue to live your life.

~ Life would not be life without music. A good book. A wine. And friends.

~ Be yourself. If people don't like you for you. Then that is there problem. They are obviously not meant to be in your life.

~ It is okay to cry. To feel. To be an emotional wreck. To get drunk. To smoke. To 'Hook up'. To take some drugs. To be wild. And crazy. To swim naked. To drive in the dark with your lights off. To wish. Dream. And be weird. It's okay to be awkward. To feel uncomfortable. To hate people. As long as you know your limits and know when to stop. You can do what ever you want. And if people judge you for it. Fuck them.

~ If people try to make you feel guilty for something you had to do. Fuck them also. You don't need the drama. Or people like that around you. They will only drag you down in flames with them.

Life is too short to worry about what other people think. I know it is easier said then done. I should take a leaf out of my own book. I will forget all eventually. I think I just need to go and do all of the things that I want to do. And take some photos. :D

Tomorrow is the day.

Tomorrow is the day.

Where everything changes.

Where I buy a new note book.

Forget the past.

Welcome the future.

Start swimming.

And walking.

Take more photos.

And write more stories.

Eat healthy.

Buy some new music.

Worry about me.

Make sure I am happy.

I save more money.

I stop drinking.

And smoking.

I spend more time outdoors.

I stop putting myself down.

I stop worrying.

About things that don't matter.

I tell my friends and family I love them.

And how much they mean to me.

Tomorrow I will.

Get up.

Go to the pool.

Have a shower.

Go to work.

Answer phones.

Check freight.

Have a cup of tea.

Go to lunch.

Go back to work.

Enter data into the system.

Answer more phones.

Speak to some customers.

Get in my car.

Drive home.

Go for a walk.

Take some photos.

Have a glass of water.

Write.

Have a shower.

Brush my teeth.

Go to bed.

And the next day I will do it all over again.

But this time.

I will be doing it for me.

Forgetting about my dark past.

And the dark people in it.

Moving on.

Letting go.

And living life for me.

And my future.

" Live life like you have no regrets,

Like there are no boundary's,

And like there is nothing holding you back."

Story.

Sometimes. I feel the need to write. I LOVE to write almost as much as I LOVE to read. It comes as naturally to me as breathing. I own a small library. And a small story book to rival it.

Not many people know this about me. And because no one reads this but people I feel comfortable sharing with. But I have an editor. Her name is Tracey Norris and for the past year she has been editing my book. Yes. That's right. I have written a book. And one day I hope to get it published. It is one of my ultimate dreams. If I died after my book was published. I would be happy. I want to put something into this world. To make people remember me. For me. And nothing else.

So when I get in moods where I want to write. I write short stories and ponder upon ideas for my second book. I got in the mood to write this afternoon and this is what I created in the space of ten minutes.

She stood on top of the hill that took her half an hour to climb, gasping for air. With her hands on her knees she looked up and out at the surrounding view. Exhausted as she was she stood up straighter, put her had across her brow and smiled at the view she had climbed to see.

There was greenery for miles around her. To the left was the ocean that sparkled like a sea of diamonds. In front of her and across the valley were massive mountains, nothing like the one she was standing on now. Capped with snow. When she squinted her eyes she could make out small streams of melted snow trickling and tracking there way down the mountain range to the ocean. The clouds sailed over her head making strange patchy patterns across the sky and the sun beat down on her already tanned skin. As she stood admiring the view the cool breeze slowly cooled her down.

Eventually, she took in the view to her full extent and sat down under a large apple tree that was perched a few meters from the edge of the mountain. There were a few ripe green apples, she reached for one and moaned as it crunched and fresh apple juice streamed down her parched throat slightly quenching her thirst.

As she ate, relaxed and cooled down. She leaned back against the large tree trunk and within seemingly no time at all she fell asleep. Her long black hair fell across her face and sheltered her eyes from the sun that was slowly setting, her thick cotton dress keeping her warm in the cool breeze and the sounds of nature all around her rocked her into a light sleep like a child in a bassinet.

I know it's not much. And it isn't detailed as much as I would have liked. But it is only a rough copy. And who knows if I like this story. I may play with it more and see where it leads.

My short story's help me escape. And I hope reading this short pointless story made you feel like you were really on the mountain with that girl. Even if it was only for a second.

This feeling.

Sometimes I get in moods. Good moods. Where I feel like I can do anything. I did all of my chores this morning and felt on top of the world.

I watched the clouds roll across the sky while I was hanging my clothes out. Sometimes watching clouds makes me wonder what it would be like to be up there floating with them. The more I think about it the more windy I think it would be. Some clouds zoom across the sky. They must be moving at great speeds. When I think about clouds I think about flying.

And then when I think about flying. I think about Jess. She recently moved to Canada. To be with the one she loves. When I think about Jess flying across the skys. Having new adventures. And meeting new people. It makes me wants to fly across the skys too. And the more I want to do it. The more I know I am. It is only a matter of time. And money. Which I am saving for now.

This blog is random. And the thought of flying hit me at a random time. While I was standing out in the hot sun hanging out my same old clothes. A smile spread across my face as I realised that I was going to travel and fly and do all the things I want. It is only a matter of getting my passport. A ticket. And jumping on a plane. Then like thousands of people across the world.

I will be flying too.